Introduction:
Last week, I opened up about my struggle with creative block, a journey familiar to many. Today, I delve deeper into a related, introspective topic: the concept of being one's own greatest critic. Within each of us, there lies a multitude of'selves': the cheerleader, the skeptic, the relentless questioner. These internal voices, with their chorus of contrasting opinions, have undeniably sculpted me into the person and artist I am today.
The Many 'Mes':
Inside my head, there's a continuous dialogue among various aspects of myself. One part of me offers encouragement when I falter, another casts doubt, and yet another constantly questions my choices. This internal dynamic is a powerful driver behind my artistic endeavours, but it also has the potential to unsettle the very core of my creativity, especially during periods of creative block.
Illustration Concept:
The illustration for this post visually embodies this inner turmoil. It shows me in contemplative blue tones, my expression one of introspection. Surrounding me are figures with red heads, each representing a different facet of my inner self, displaying a spectrum of emotions that range from supportive to critical.
Seeing the Struggle in My Daughter:
My daughter, who I often describe as floaty and dreamy, recently embarked on a new journey into the world of Judo. This decision, a blend of our gentle nudging and her own choice, marked a significant step for her. Judo, being a grounded and physical sport, seemed like a perfect counterbalance to her whimsical nature. However, the transition wasn't smooth. The physicality and the discipline required were new terrains for her – challenging, but also immensely rewarding. Watching her navigate these initial hurdles, I'm often reminded of the profound truth in the quote from Dune: "Fear is the mind-killer." Each session she attends is a victory over her fears, a testament to her growing courage. It's a slow dance of overcoming fears and embracing new challenges, and with each step, she becomes more assured, more confident, and it fills me with immense pride.
Personal Journey with Art:
My relationship with art has always been one of passionate pursuit, punctuated by moments of intense self-doubt. The feedback during my entrance exams and from early mentors often echoed a disheartening sentiment – that I wasn't quite good enough. Yet, each critique only steeled my resolve to improve. I remember distinctly how, in my second year of studying publicity, I sought extra help. A kind teacher agreed to guide me, suggesting we meet at a cafe for drawing sessions. This gesture wasn't just about improving my skills; it was an affirmation of belief in my potential. There was also a memorable incident when a teacher, previously critical, mistook my sketchbook for that of a more skilled classmate – a small but significant acknowledgment of my improvement. These moments, both challenging and uplifting, have been pivotal in my journey. They've taught me that while the road of art is endless, filled with self-doubt and critique, it is also lined with milestones of progress and growth.
The Road of Drawing:
Drawing, for me, is an endless path with no final destination. It’s a road marked by continuous improvement, but also littered with doubts and questions at every challenging turn. Each time I face an obstacle, a small voice whispers, "Am I really good enough?" This imposter syndrome doesn't just question the moment but sometimes the very choice of my life in art.
Parallel Journeys – Father and Daughter:
In watching my daughter’s journey, whether in Judo or other aspects of her life, I see a reflection of my own path. As a father, my aim is to support her, to be the reassuring voice that counters the inner critics, hoping to ease some of the uncertainties that often accompany growth and learning.
Conclusion:
Reflecting on our parallel paths, I recognize the strides we've both made. In supporting her, I strive to be the guide she needs, hoping she can traverse her path with fewer burdens than I carried. It’s a journey of continuous learning and improvement, and in acknowledging our progress, we find the strength to keep moving forward.
Call to Action:
I’d love to hear your stories. How do you cope with your inner critics? Have you observed similar struggles in your loved ones? Let’s share our experiences and learn from each other on this unending road of personal growth and artistic discovery.